There is no masochist like the Cancer who falls for Libras. As Mitski tweeted from her astrology account (an astro bible if you’re not already following), the Idealist just isn’t prepared to give Cancers the attention they need to survive (we’re literally like Tinkerbell). And yet I continue to surround myself with fucking Libras. Now that Libra Season is over and celestial power is returning to a water sign, I feel like it’s time for me to be honest about my lifelong dating woes — by providing the comprehensive guide to the types of Libras whose traps I’ve fallen into. Because, you know, why take responsibility for your relationships when you can blame the stars?
The High School Boyfriend
We had been best friends for years, and to our school friends we were a perfect match. The thing about Cancers and Libras is there’s a certain level of surface compatibility — we shared similar tastes in art and music, both preferred staying in to going out and spent long Sunday afternoons baking and dancing around the kitchen.
But we both hated conflict and eventually that grew into deep resentment. Cancer and Libra are both cardinal signs — we were both too headstrong for our own good and had a lot of maturing to do, making compromise a struggle. Ended disastrously. Sparked a lifelong distaste for Libras (but here I am, years later, still surrounded by them).
The College Boyfriend
Basically just the high school boyfriend again, expect he didn’t even like baking (not that we had reliable access to an oven during freshman year of college) and didn’t challenge me at all. There was literally no reason for me to be dating this guy.
The Libra Sun/Pisces Moon
No complaints. Had his chart at the ready as if he immediately sensed that I would have run the other way had he not been ample parts water sign. He’s the best possible mix of Libra and Pisces (I love Pisces!) — empathetic, emotionally-available, level-headed. Logical when I couldn’t be. Good good good.
The Pisces who Must Have Some Libra Somewhere in His Chart Because WTF
Alternately titled “Why Don’t You Know Your Birth Time and the Exact ZIP Code of the Hospital You Were Born At Off the Top of Your Head?”
This guy was a solid Pisces, but must have had a healthy dose of Libra somewhere because as compassionate and empathetic as he was, he easily got caught up in indecision, which doesn’t bode well for romantic success with a Cancer. This Pisces, however, has a more admirable sense of fairness than any of the real Libras I’ve met and I value his insight to this day.
The Libra-Scorpio Cusp
The best kind of Libra-Cancer pairing! That is, a short-term, casual one. We shared an appreciation for beauty and luxury and had complementing tastes. We both had strong personalities, but they manifested respectfully — we challenged each other in a way only Libras and Cancers can.
Had this relationship gone anywhere, it probably would have ended just as badly as the other ones. (But honestly, I kind of think we could have taken over the world. Think Frank and Claire Underwood — this guy was almost a Scorpio and Claire could definitely be a cut-throat kind of Cancer.)
BONUS: The BFF — Not Even a Trap!
I don’t actually hate every Libra — just the ones I want to love me. I love Kim K! F. Scott Fitzgerald was a Libra. Hell, even Erin Moran, the late “Happy Days” star I share a name with, was a Libra. And my friendships with Libras are some of the most fulfilling in my life (shout out to you, Savannah!) My Libra friends always have a way of grounding me when I get a little too Cancer-y. The same goes for my best friend, who is a Scorpio through and through but still cusp-y (although she won’t admit it) — thank you for keeping me in line. Love you.